Drunken Noodles

GBS Foods Article

Preamble

Tonight I am making drunken noodles. I am sorry to disappoint you, but these have no booze in them. They are, however, a tasty Thai dish made with wide rice noodles a sweet/savory/salty/spicy sauce, meat, tofu and/or seafood, and vegetables. I've seen them done in different ways, and from what I understand it's rather up to interpretation. The name apparently does not come from booze, but rather this is supposed to be good food for a hangover. I really don't know, I'm very white, and I have no idea if this is authentic or not (feel free to berate me if it's horribly Americanized), but it's tasty and I love some spicy noodles.

Ingredients

First you will need your ingredients and supplies. If you live in a smaller town, you may have difficulty finding a few items, especially the wide rice noodles and Thai bird chiles; your best bet is an Asian grocery. Get out a very large bowl, 4 medium bowls for holding ingredients, a large knife, a cutting board, a wok and a spoon for stirring.

WARNING

This makes a ton (about 6 servings) but can be easily halved. Just leave the egg whole and shallot, and halve everything else (or in the case of peppers and onions, use a small one). Or if you like more veggies and meat and less noodles, just cut the noodles in half and knock the sauce down by 1/3.

Stir Fry Ingredients

• 16 oz wide Thai rice noodles
• 1 medium onion, sliced
• 3-4 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 bulb shallot, chopped
• 1 large green pepper, sliced into strips
• 1 lb chicken, thinly sliced
• 1 egg, lightly beaten
• fresh basil leaves, about 2-3 stems
• 3-4 thai bird chiles, finely chopped
• oil for cooking
• 1 large or 2 small limes for juicing in sauce and garnish

Sauce Ingredients

• 6 TB Oyster sauce (I used Maek Rua)
• 3 TB rice vinegar
• 2-3 TB fish sauce
• 3 TB sugar
• 3 TB fresh lime juice
• 1 TB Sambol Olek (ground chiles)

Making the Noodles

First, grab a large big bowl and fill it full of really hot tap water. Put the rice noodles in it and separate them; they will need to soak for approximately 45 minutes or until soft but just a bit of bite left (al dente). You may need to do this a bit in advance if you're a quick cook.

Mix up your sauce ingredients and set aside.

Mince and chop up your garlic and shallot. Set in a bowl. Tip: put a clove of garlic on a cutting board, put a wide knife over it and give it a smash with your hand. The skin will split and you can easily remove the clove.

Slice your onion into rounds. Tip: Cut the top and bottom off your onion. Slice lengthwise, then made radial cuts inwards towards the center. You will end up with nice even onion moons.

Put them all in a bowl and set aside.

Now, peel, seed and chop your tomatoes. Tip: to peel, score the tomato with a few Xs in the skin, place in very hot or boiling water for 30 seconds, then put in a bowl of ice water. The peels will come right out. Slice in half horizontally and with your finger, scoop out the wet seeds, leaving only the pulp. Slice into thin wedges. Set aside.

Now slice your pepper into thin strips. Tip: To easily core and slice, stand your pepper and take a slice out of the side.

Now turn the pepper 1/4 turn, and repeat. You are left with 4 large pieces that are easy to slice. Tip: Always slice with skin side down, it's easier.

Now, mince the peppers. CAUTION! These fuckers are HOT. I strongly implore you to wear gloves, especially if you wear contacts. Trust me when I say that you can wash your hands a dozen times, but when you go to take your lenses out 6 hours later you will be rather unkindly reminded of what you were handling earlier. And that was just with poblanos... Slice them down the middle, scrape out the seeds, and mince as finely as you can.

Almost done chopping. Wipe/rinse off the cutting board, and slice up your chicken. Tip: You can get a thinner yet wider slice if you cut your chicken intro strips (or use tenderloins), then slice at an angle.

Finally, beat one egg and set aside. Also, rip up the basil into smaller pieces, leaving a few for garnish. Hopefully, you don't need pictures of this.

Ok, the chopping is the most time consuming part. Before we cook, MAKE SURE YOUR NOODLES ARE SOFT. If not, you'll have to cook them extra long in the pan and overcook your chicken and egg.

Heat up the wok on medium-high heat with about 2 TB cooking oil (don't use olive oil; I use canola).

Add your garlic, onions and shallots, and cook for a few minutes or until they begin to turn translucent.

Add the chicken and peppers and cook until no longer pink. Hopefully you were able to make thin slices, so when it's no longer pink, it's almost cooked.

Add peppers and cook for a minute. Then reduce heat to medium, move everything over to the side, and add the egg.

Let cook, then as well as you can, flip it over and finish cooking it. Then with a fork or a flat wide spatula, shred or break up into bits.

Add the chilis and mix well. Now we're ready for the tomatoes, the basil, the sauce and the noodles.

Yeah, uh, that's a lot of food. Mix it up as best you can, I used a set of grippy tongs. Let it cook for 2-3 minutes so the tomatoes warm up, the sauce thickens and coats everything and the noodles get soft.

Yum.