40 Clove Garlic Chicken

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Submitted by genesplicer Uploaded by Jiran

Garlic is, without a doubt, one of the greatest foods ever discovered. You just have to prepare it correctly. Here is one way to do just that. It is called 40 Clove Garlic Chicken, and whoever created it should be made a saint or something.


  • 2 lbs of Chicken (you can use almost any kind, we prefer boneless, skinless breast)
  • 4 or 5 garlic bulbs (not cloves, bulbs)
  • Fresh Thyme
  • Olive oil
  • Salt and Pepper

We also had two side dishes, Asparagus and Balti-roasted potatoes. I will include those instructions farther down.



Now, On To the Chicken!!!

Here are your ingredients:


The olive oil should be extra virgin and the thyme should be a freshly-picked as possible. The Chicken should be dead and dismembered.

Begin by removing the garlic cloves from the bulbs. Then get knife out and get ready to use it. But not necessarily in the way you anticipate...


Gently place the flat of the knife on the garlic clove and press down. The goal is not to flatten the clove, but to give it a bit of a crack.


When cracked a bit, the skin is easy to peel off. You want naked cloves. As the name implies, you want about 40. (We ended up with 43 this time)


Next, cut the chicken into slightly-larger-than-bitesize bits


Mmmmmmmm, raw chicken...


Place the chicken bits in an stove-and-oven-proof pot that has about a tablespoon of olive oil in the bottom, and place this on the stove. Give the chicken a bit of a browning. You do not need to cook it all the way through, just enough to give it that white-verging-on-slightly-browned look.


Garlic on left, skins on right. Garlic goes in pot, skins in trash or compost heap (Or in a sock stuck in a heating vent of a foe. It will produce a mild garlic smell, not strong enough to be offensive, but strong enough that folks will wonder about the smell...)


Add the Garlic, Salt, Pepper and Thyme to the pot. Add a bit more olive oil, about a tablespoon, to keep things greased properly.


Your oven should be heated to about 350 degrees, F. We like the old Western-Holly that came with our house. It is 50 years old, and gets hotter than fuck on the outside. It is a warm reminder of the days when people did not sue over every little injury. Such an oven would NEVER be allowed in a "modern" home.


Cover the pot, and place it in your heated oven. Set a timer for 1.5 hours.


Balti-Roasted Potatoes[edit]

Now it is time to make the Balti-roasted potatoes. For this you will need the following:

  • Several large potatoes
  • Kosher Flake Salt
  • Balti Seasoning (It is kinda like Curry, but not really)
  • Extra Virgin Olive Oil


Peel and cut up your potatoes, and place them in a roasting pan.


Add some olive oil, Balti Seasoning and salt. The balti should be enough to coat the pieces as seen. Salt to taste. Toss it all around to make sure the potatoes are well coated


Place the potatoes in the oven. (yes, I know the oven is dirty. Bear in mind it was installed 50 years ago. There is some staining, but it cooks like a trooper!)


Now that the main bits are cooking, prepare the Asparagus the way you like. We prefer to steam it in the microwave and eat it with Mayonnaise. We get it ready now, but will not steam it until 10 minutes before the food comes out of the oven.


This is a good time to do Cat Inventory. I find that Hugh has abandoned me to usurp my seat, where the little heatslut is plastered to my heating pad, which generally warms my injured back


Jameson, Renfield and Lord Admiral Horatio Nelson are singularly unmoved by the idea of Garlic In Large Quantities. They prefer the rumpled comfort that is the Unmade Bed.


You should stir the potatoes every 15 minutes or so.


When your timer goes off, remove the potatoes and chicken. The garlic should have a yellowish-brownish, carmalized look to it. Do not worry. It has been transformed from the evil destroyer of breath to a mild food you could eat straight from the pot...


Arrange your food items on a plate or other flat surface in some artful way and serve!


Although the garlic is amazingly mild, you will be eating rather a lot of it. Be prepared for garlic-flavored burps for the next several days. It is worth it. Especially if you and your significant other both enjoy the meal. (No garlic kisses that you will notice.)