Difference between revisions of "Blueberry Oat Muffins"

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http://stopfuckingposting.com/www.gbsfood.com/1483614/
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[[Category:Muffins]] [[Category:Blueberry]] [[Category:Cranberry]] [[Category:Breakfast]]
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Submitted by [[:BeanBandit]]
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Oh, look, another cooking thread! I'm going to show you how to make blueberry oat muffins. These are tasty, easy to make, and go great with breakfast. If you're not a fan of blueberries, you can easily substitute cranberries. If you don't like cranberries either, then that's just too bad, chump.
 
Oh, look, another cooking thread! I'm going to show you how to make blueberry oat muffins. These are tasty, easy to make, and go great with breakfast. If you're not a fan of blueberries, you can easily substitute cranberries. If you don't like cranberries either, then that's just too bad, chump.
  
You're going to need this stuff:
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==Ingredients==
  
 +
* 1 cup flour
 +
* 1 cup quick oats
 +
* 1 cup milk
 +
* 1 tbsp lemon juice
 +
* 3/4 cup brown sugar
 +
* 1/4 cup melted butter or margarine
 +
* 1 egg
 +
* 1 tsp baking powder
 +
* 1/2 tsp baking soda
 +
* 1/2 tsp salt
 +
* 1 cup frozen blueberries or cranberries
 +
* muffin cups
 +
* non-stick cooking spray, or shortening
 +
* muffin pan
  
 +
[[Image:Muffins 00.jpg]]
  
  
1 cup flour
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I'm using whole wheat flour because I took a nutrition class in college, and I know that fiber is good for you. Feel free to substitute regular, white flour. I'm using Bob's Red Mill whole wheat flour because the guy on the package reminds me of my uncle before he started drinking. Plus, very few men can make a bolo tie look this good:
 
 
1 cup quick oats
 
 
 
1 cup milk
 
 
 
1 tbsp lemon juice
 
 
 
3/4 cup brown sugar
 
 
 
1/4 cup melted butter or margarine
 
 
 
1 egg
 
 
 
1 tsp baking powder
 
 
 
1/2 tsp baking soda
 
 
 
1/2 tsp salt
 
 
 
1 cup frozen blueberries or cranberries
 
 
 
muffin cups, non-stick cooking spray, or shortening
 
  
muffin pan
+
[[Image:bob.jpg]]
  
I'm using whole wheat flour because I took a nutrition class in college, and I know that fiber is good for you. Feel free to substitute regular, white flour. I'm using Bob's Red Mill whole wheat flour because the guy on the package reminds me of my uncle before he started drinking. Plus, very few men can make a bolo tie look this good:
 
  
  
 +
==Method==
  
 
Step 1: Wash your girly little hands.  
 
Step 1: Wash your girly little hands.  
  
 +
[[Image:Muffins 01.jpg]]
  
  
 
Step 2: Mix 1 cup of milk with 1 tbsp of lemon juice, and let it sit for a few minutes. You can probably get away with using the pre-bottled stuff, but you're using fresh-squeezed juice because you're awesome, right? Right. Of course you are. That's why you spend your Saturday evenings making muffins.
 
Step 2: Mix 1 cup of milk with 1 tbsp of lemon juice, and let it sit for a few minutes. You can probably get away with using the pre-bottled stuff, but you're using fresh-squeezed juice because you're awesome, right? Right. Of course you are. That's why you spend your Saturday evenings making muffins.
  
 
+
[[Image:Muffins 02.jpg]]
  
  
 
Step 3: Add 1 cup of quick oats to the milk + lemon juice mixture. Stir. You will be rewarded with this:
 
Step 3: Add 1 cup of quick oats to the milk + lemon juice mixture. Stir. You will be rewarded with this:
  
 +
[[Image:Muffins 03.jpg]]
  
  
 
Step 4: Beat 1 large egg lightly, and melt 1/4 cup of margarine or butter. Add the butter and egg to the milk + lemon juice + oats mixture.
 
Step 4: Beat 1 large egg lightly, and melt 1/4 cup of margarine or butter. Add the butter and egg to the milk + lemon juice + oats mixture.
  
 +
[[Image:Muffins 04.jpg]]
  
  
 
Doesn't that look appetizing? No? Fine, stir it until it looks like this:
 
Doesn't that look appetizing? No? Fine, stir it until it looks like this:
  
 +
[[Image:Muffins 05.jpg]]
  
 +
Cover your goopy oatmeal mixture and set it aside.
  
Cover your goopy oatmeal mixture and set it aside.
 
  
 
Step 5: Mix 1 cup flour, 3/4 cup brown sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1/2 tsp. baking soda, and 1/2 tsp. salt together in a large mixing bowl.
 
Step 5: Mix 1 cup flour, 3/4 cup brown sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1/2 tsp. baking soda, and 1/2 tsp. salt together in a large mixing bowl.
  
 
+
[[Image:Muffins 06.jpg]]
  
 
"B-B-BUT! What do I do with it NOW, BeanBandit?" Oh, I don't know, Professor. STIR it, maybe? Jesus.
 
"B-B-BUT! What do I do with it NOW, BeanBandit?" Oh, I don't know, Professor. STIR it, maybe? Jesus.
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Work out as many of the brown sugar clumps as you can. Try not to mess this up like you messed up your parents' marriage. Use the underside of a spoon to press the clumps against the side of the bowl. Mine still has some small clumps, but that's okay. It's just one of those things I'll try to work through with my case worker next week.
 
Work out as many of the brown sugar clumps as you can. Try not to mess this up like you messed up your parents' marriage. Use the underside of a spoon to press the clumps against the side of the bowl. Mine still has some small clumps, but that's okay. It's just one of those things I'll try to work through with my case worker next week.
 +
 +
[[Image:Muffins 07.jpg]]
 +
  
 
Step 5.5: This would be a good time to pre-heat your oven to 400 degrees F.
 
Step 5.5: This would be a good time to pre-heat your oven to 400 degrees F.
  
 
Step 6: Now you get to mix the liquid ingredients with the dry ingredients. Take your oatmeal mixture and dump it into the flour mixture, stirring as you go.
 
Step 6: Now you get to mix the liquid ingredients with the dry ingredients. Take your oatmeal mixture and dump it into the flour mixture, stirring as you go.
 
 
  
 
Keep mixing the dry stuff with the wet stuff until you're left with nothing but wet stuff. It'll get thick and hard to mix toward the end, but just muscle through it you pussy.
 
Keep mixing the dry stuff with the wet stuff until you're left with nothing but wet stuff. It'll get thick and hard to mix toward the end, but just muscle through it you pussy.
  
 +
Try to resist the urge to shove your face in the bowl, because it's time for the blueberries!
  
  
Try to resist the urge to shove your face in the bowl, because it's time for the blueberries!
+
Step 7: Gently fold about 1 cup of frozen blueberries into the mixture. Try not to crush all the berries as you fold them in. I used a little more than a cup because I like blueberries.
  
Step 7: Gently fold about 1 cup of frozen blueberries into the mixture. Try not to crush all the berries as you fold them in. I used a little more than a cup because I like blueberries.
+
[[Image:Muffins 08.jpg]]
  
  
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Step 8: Line a muffin pan with paper cups. Alternately, you can spray it down with non-stick cooking spray or lightly grease it with shortening. Doesn't matter. Then, fill each cup about 3/4 of the way with the muffin batter.
 
Step 8: Line a muffin pan with paper cups. Alternately, you can spray it down with non-stick cooking spray or lightly grease it with shortening. Doesn't matter. Then, fill each cup about 3/4 of the way with the muffin batter.
  
 +
[[Image:Muffins 09.jpg]]
  
  
 
Step 9: If you haven't done so already, preheat your oven to 400 degrees and slide the muffins in. Go do something productive for 20 minutes while they bake. If you're anything like me, that means downing a quart of Wild Turkey while watching re-runs of Sliders.
 
Step 9: If you haven't done so already, preheat your oven to 400 degrees and slide the muffins in. Go do something productive for 20 minutes while they bake. If you're anything like me, that means downing a quart of Wild Turkey while watching re-runs of Sliders.
 +
 +
[[Image:Muffins 11.jpg]]
 +
  
 
Step 10: Once the muffins are lightly browned and a toothpick comes out clean, take them out of the oven.
 
Step 10: Once the muffins are lightly browned and a toothpick comes out clean, take them out of the oven.
  
 +
[[Image:Muffins 12.jpg]]
  
  
 
Step 11: Post a thread about it on the Something Awful forums.  
 
Step 11: Post a thread about it on the Something Awful forums.  
 +
 +
[[Image:Muffins 13.jpg]]
  
  
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Yeah, yeah, I know, they're muffins. Nothing fancy, nothing exciting, nothing difficult to make. But morons like me need good, simple recipes, and this qualifies. Enjoy.  
 
Yeah, yeah, I know, they're muffins. Nothing fancy, nothing exciting, nothing difficult to make. But morons like me need good, simple recipes, and this qualifies. Enjoy.  
  
[[Category:Recipes_Still_Needed_From_GBSFoods]]
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''BeanBandit fucked around with this message at Mar 06, 2005 around 14:58''

Latest revision as of 17:02, 10 October 2011

Submitted by BeanBandit

Oh, look, another cooking thread! I'm going to show you how to make blueberry oat muffins. These are tasty, easy to make, and go great with breakfast. If you're not a fan of blueberries, you can easily substitute cranberries. If you don't like cranberries either, then that's just too bad, chump.

Ingredients[edit]

  • 1 cup flour
  • 1 cup quick oats
  • 1 cup milk
  • 1 tbsp lemon juice
  • 3/4 cup brown sugar
  • 1/4 cup melted butter or margarine
  • 1 egg
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1 cup frozen blueberries or cranberries
  • muffin cups
  • non-stick cooking spray, or shortening
  • muffin pan

Muffins 00.jpg


I'm using whole wheat flour because I took a nutrition class in college, and I know that fiber is good for you. Feel free to substitute regular, white flour. I'm using Bob's Red Mill whole wheat flour because the guy on the package reminds me of my uncle before he started drinking. Plus, very few men can make a bolo tie look this good:

Bob.jpg


Method[edit]

Step 1: Wash your girly little hands.

Muffins 01.jpg


Step 2: Mix 1 cup of milk with 1 tbsp of lemon juice, and let it sit for a few minutes. You can probably get away with using the pre-bottled stuff, but you're using fresh-squeezed juice because you're awesome, right? Right. Of course you are. That's why you spend your Saturday evenings making muffins.

Muffins 02.jpg


Step 3: Add 1 cup of quick oats to the milk + lemon juice mixture. Stir. You will be rewarded with this:

Muffins 03.jpg


Step 4: Beat 1 large egg lightly, and melt 1/4 cup of margarine or butter. Add the butter and egg to the milk + lemon juice + oats mixture.

Muffins 04.jpg


Doesn't that look appetizing? No? Fine, stir it until it looks like this:

Muffins 05.jpg

Cover your goopy oatmeal mixture and set it aside.


Step 5: Mix 1 cup flour, 3/4 cup brown sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1/2 tsp. baking soda, and 1/2 tsp. salt together in a large mixing bowl.

Muffins 06.jpg

"B-B-BUT! What do I do with it NOW, BeanBandit?" Oh, I don't know, Professor. STIR it, maybe? Jesus.


Work out as many of the brown sugar clumps as you can. Try not to mess this up like you messed up your parents' marriage. Use the underside of a spoon to press the clumps against the side of the bowl. Mine still has some small clumps, but that's okay. It's just one of those things I'll try to work through with my case worker next week.

Muffins 07.jpg


Step 5.5: This would be a good time to pre-heat your oven to 400 degrees F.

Step 6: Now you get to mix the liquid ingredients with the dry ingredients. Take your oatmeal mixture and dump it into the flour mixture, stirring as you go.

Keep mixing the dry stuff with the wet stuff until you're left with nothing but wet stuff. It'll get thick and hard to mix toward the end, but just muscle through it you pussy.

Try to resist the urge to shove your face in the bowl, because it's time for the blueberries!


Step 7: Gently fold about 1 cup of frozen blueberries into the mixture. Try not to crush all the berries as you fold them in. I used a little more than a cup because I like blueberries.

Muffins 08.jpg


Step 8: Line a muffin pan with paper cups. Alternately, you can spray it down with non-stick cooking spray or lightly grease it with shortening. Doesn't matter. Then, fill each cup about 3/4 of the way with the muffin batter.

Muffins 09.jpg


Step 9: If you haven't done so already, preheat your oven to 400 degrees and slide the muffins in. Go do something productive for 20 minutes while they bake. If you're anything like me, that means downing a quart of Wild Turkey while watching re-runs of Sliders.

Muffins 11.jpg


Step 10: Once the muffins are lightly browned and a toothpick comes out clean, take them out of the oven.

Muffins 12.jpg


Step 11: Post a thread about it on the Something Awful forums.

Muffins 13.jpg


No, seriously. Everyone on the planet wants to hear about your stupid fucking muffins. Wallow in self-pity as the culinary experts of GBS tear apart your recipe. "ok faggot if a blueberry muffin had an abortion and you baked the abortion for 20 minutes and maybe added some oatmeal thats what it would look like faggot"

Yeah, yeah, I know, they're muffins. Nothing fancy, nothing exciting, nothing difficult to make. But morons like me need good, simple recipes, and this qualifies. Enjoy.


BeanBandit fucked around with this message at Mar 06, 2005 around 14:58