Pierogi! Fun for the whole family.

Submitted by Munki

Ladies and Gentlegoons, it's time to break out your drawstring pants. Pierogi when done well have been known to induce a condition commonly known as 'food coma'.

Tonights dinner was beef potato and onion pierogi served with fried onions, dressing, and a side of cabbage - bacon flavor.

First I have to thank Katie, my good friend, who is also polish. She gave me the recipe for the dough and then swore up and down that the cucumber salad (where the dressing comes from) was polish. If not for her, none of this tasty goodness would have ever graced my table.

Now, on to the business.

First you'll need lots of stuff.

Dough:

• 2 1/2 c Flour
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 egg
• 2 tsp oil
• 3/4 c water

Filling:

• 1 lb russet potatoes
• 1 lb cheap ground beef
• 1 medium yellow onion (I know there are two in the picture, one is for the topping.)
• Garlic
• Sour cream (not pictured.)
• Butter (not pictured.)
• Flour (not pictured.)
• Broth (not pictured.)

Dressing:

• About 1/4 c sour cream
• vinegar to consistancy
• as much dill as you can stand
• garlic

Side Dish:

• 1/4 head Cabbage
• 2 thick slices bacon
• salt (not shown)

Method

Now where you start is up to you. I usually start with the dough. I do not know why. It would be smarter to start with the filling and make the dough while the filling cools, but then again I wouldn't have time for a beer break if I did that.

The dough!

Mix your wet and your dry ingredients seperately. If you do not know the reason for this, go find the tuna sammich thread and come back when you've learned a little about dough.

wet

dry

Now mix them together.

In the process of mixing.

You will find that mixing by hand after a certain point is best. Yes, it's sticky. Yes, this is normal. Yes, it will wash off.

Pro Tip: Don't forget to take off any rings and/or watches/bracelets before mixing with your fingers. Also: Wash your hands you dirty fucks.

Knead your dough. I would have pictures of this, however body parts got in the way and you couldn't see the dough. Simple method: Fold in half and press down, turn, repeat. Do this on a CLEAN floured surface, with clean floured hands. Add flour to the top of the dough and the surface as necessary. This is a very important step. This developes gluten in the dough. I cannot tell you how important this is. You MUST have gluten. However, if you knead it too much, you'll make it tough and that would suck. So yea, don't overdo it.

Now you can put in a clean bowl (the same one works just fine if you've cleaned it. This is especially handy if you have a kitchen bitch to do things like washing for you.)

Now for the filling.

Boil your potatoes. I don't care how you do it. I recommend that you peel them however. Boil with a generous dash of salt and a clove or two of garlic. I add my garlic late due to personal taste but you can add yours at the start. It'll be one less thing to forget.

Slice one onion and set it aside, forget about it till it's time to boil your pierogi. Chop one onion and put it in a pan to cook. When browned and soft, remove half the onion and reserve.

This is what it looks like when you start.

This is what it looks like when it's time to split it in half.

While your onions are cooking check your potatoes. Hopefully you cut them small enough so that they are done soon. They won't be done now, but check anyway. You never know. If they are done, drain them and put them back in the hot pot. I have an electric range (oh god the suck) so I put the pot on a trivet on the counter. I add about a quarter cup sour cream and two tablespoons butter and let that sit and get nice and melty. while I finish with the meat part.

To the remaining onion add the ground beef and a couple cloves of chopped garlic. There isn't really a need for salt, but if you like black pepper, now is a good time. When the beef is just starting to lose the last of the pink, it's time to add flour. Grab yourself a little cup. I use a teacup I got at a Marukai that I broke and can no longer use for liquid anything. I think it's pretty and can't really bring myself to throw it away. So now it's my flour cup. Sprinkle flour into the meat a little at a time and stir it in.

The flour starting in the meat.

You will continue doing this until the grease from the cheap beef is all worked into the flour. You're going to wanna cook it for a little bit, to cook the flour. This will make some flour stick to your pan. Do no fret. It's good. Leave it there. At this point, if you've not taken care of the potato part, take your pan with meat-goo off the heat and finish the potato part.

The meat when it's ready to go in the potatoes.

Smash the potatoes. It doesn't matter if it's chunky or smooth. Whatever you like better. Add the meat-goo. Add the cooked onions you set aside earlier. Go back to your pan with all the cooked on flour gunk.

Add some butter. A tablespoon should do it.

OH GOD! The gunk on my cast iron! Oh what shall I do? I know! Add BUTTER.

Now add some broth (or alcohol and broth. Whatever.) I usually use beef but I didn't have any handy. I did have home made chicken stock though. Add whatever it takes to get the goo off the bottom of your pan. Then reduce by half or so.

Mmmmmm. Fresh stock! Made just this morning, which is why it's not frozen. Actually, at this point, it was still warm.

Oh fuck. Butter? What was I thinking? This won't work! Let's add some stock!

Oh, good. The goo came off. Oh wow. This looks kinda tasty. (This is what it should look like when you are done.)

Add the goo-juice to your pot full of wonderful smelling goodness.

This doesn't really look like I want to eat it.

Now mash it all together. It's going to look horrible. It's going to smell wonderful. If you were to be brave and taste a little, it would have a mouth feel that is kind of creamy (yay pan goo) and it would taste really super yummy.

Oh god this looks like puke.

Now you have to let that filling cool. I swear you do. Really. It's time for a beer break.

It's not full because it's a pint glass and I got a dirty look when I stole the first one.

Finish your beer and get back to work you lazy bastards!

Now would be a good time to roll out and cut your pierogi dough. I use a drinking glass because I'm ghetto like that. One batch of dough should get you around fifty pierogi, provided you roll out your scraps. The filling you made should be more than enough. After you've cut the circles, you might want to cut up your cabbage. I've got a kitchen bitch, so I made him do it. Put your cabbage into a strainer of some sort, and salt it liberally. Toss for even distribution and set aside (over a bowl) to drain.

Now you can make your dressing!

Sour cream goes in a container that is good for storing as well as mixing. I use two really big heaping spoonfulls, which is about a quarter cup. (I have insanely large spoons that are no good for eating with.) To the sour cream you want to add white vinegar a little at a time and mix it in. You'll want just enough to get a heavy cream consistancy. Remember, if you didn't add enough, you can always put in more, but if you add too much, you can't take it out. Taste it when it's done. If it needs salt, add a tiny bit. (Note: if you're putting garlic in the dressing, don't use any salt right now.)

This is bad.

This is good.

Now I had my kitc- assistant mix up the base while I killed the garlic. (The garlic is optional.)

First you chop it.

Then you smash it. I use the flat of my blade and press down and pull across the garlic. It helps to sprinkle a little salt on the garlic before doing this. JUST A LITTLE THOUGH.

If you don't have your own dill plant, you'll have to buy the fresh stuff on the root ball from the market. Fresh dill is the only way to go here. Dried stuff just isn't the same. Dill is not optional for this dressing. I used a healthy dose (probably two tablespoons or so) and added the dill along with my two cloves killed garlic to the sourcream/vinegar base. Grind some black pepper into it, stir it up and you're done. Pop a lid on it and put it in the fridge till dinner time.

Stuffing

By now, with all that work, your filling should be cool. You are so ready to start stuffing. First you take a cut out,

stretch it a little bit in the middle,

drop some filling in the depression,

and then pinch the little bugger shut.

Now that was easy. Repeat at least six times per person you are feeding. We made 25, eight for each of us (food coma, I'm telling you.) and one for the cats to split since they are such beggers.

Cat, headbutting my legs for whatever it was that I was doing at the moment (I think I was frying bacon.)

Cat, thinking her super cute bag hiding was going to get her treats of the people food variety. (So it worked, shut up.)

Take note, the gray cat is fat, while the black cat is not. The reason why is here:

25 pierogi, all ready for boiling, and who's sniffing around? The fat one. That's who.

If you are working alone, set the stuffed pierogi aside and work on your cabbage. Rinse it well, and set it to drain again while you cut all the white fat off the bacon leaving only the red and pink meaty bits. Chop those bits up tiny. Put it all in a pan that you intend on cooking your cabbage in. I warn you, if you buy quality bacon, it will not give off as much fat as the cheap stuff. You'll probably have to add some fat to the pan in order to coat your cabbage. (I recommend lard, following the whole pork fat theme of the bacon but vegitable oil works too.) After the white stuff is all spent and grosser looking than before, get rid of it. If you have a dog, it might be ok to feed that to the dog. I'm not sure though. I don't suggest you feed it to cats. If you have to add fat to your pan, do it now and let it heat up. Add the cabbage and stir to coat. Sautee for a couple minutes (until the green parts of your cabbage turn BRIGHT green.) turn your oven on to warm (or the lowest setting you have,) and toss the pan in there. If the pan is not oven safe, put your cabbage in an oven safe serving type dish and put that in the oven.

Cooking

Boil your pierogies. Plenty of water, only a few at a time. You should put your onions on a back burner right about now too. I fry them with lard. They get crispy and delicious that way. You should also put a heavy pan on a low to medium heat and start heating your frying medium. That is if you're going to use enough that waiting for it to heat up is an issue. I use lard (oh so crispy!) I fry mine in about two inches of oil too.

Lard is good!

As you take a batch out, place it somewhere it can drain. I use a collander. When they are all done, it's smart to take your boiling pot, rinse it out, dry it, place some papertowels in the bottom and put it on top of your range. The heat from the oven keeping your cabbage warm will also keep the pot warm, which is a good thing.

Fry your pierogi in small batches.

Why fry you ask?

This is why. Boiled pierogi look rather unappetising to me.

Now, fry them, because it's better that way. You'll have to turn them over, no matter how deep your oil is, so just enough in the pan to float them is best. If they don't float, parts will touch the bottom of the pan and you'll have two choices. You can serve pierogi with done spots on part and mostly not done all over, or you can serve pierogi done all over except for those burned spots where they were resting on your pan. Floating is best

This is not done.

This is done. I know they don' look very done in the pan, but the flash took out some of the color and you want them out just before golden because they will continue to cook after you take them out of the oil.

Each batch goes in that towel lined pot till all pierogi are fried and ready to eat.

Oh, by the way, keep an eye on the onions.

When they look like this, they are done, remove the pan to the oven (or oven safe dish then to the oven,) until it's time to eat.

Oh my god. Wait. That's everything. You are DONE.

Oh look. So am I.

Cooks notes: The cabbage should be crisp still, even if you have to keep it in the oven while you boil and fry your pierogi. The dressing, because of the vinegar content, lasts at least two days. I wouldn't know past that because it usually ends up on cucumbers or something in my house. As for the pierogi, I imagine that if you were to store any leftovers in a ziploc without dressing they would keep relatively well (maybe not as crisp as the first night) but I really can't tell you, as there aren't ever any leftovers when I make pierogi.

Also: Kitchen Bitches make everything so much better.