Wiener Schnitzel with German Red Cabbage

Being half German, I've been exposed to a good portion of German food my whole life, thanks to a grandmother who cooked her ass off every time we went to her house.

Ahh, Deutsche nahrung. Das ist gut. Das is sehr gut. Ja.

System Requirements

• Veal Cutlets
• 1 Medium Head of Red Cabbage
• Bacon
• 1 Red Onion
• 2 Eggs
• Bread Crumbs
• Flour
• Lemon Juice
• Cloves
• Bay Leaf
• Vegetable Oil
• Butter
• Salt

Preparation

Assuming you didn't have your meat provisioning professional beat the shit out of your cutlets for you (it's a good idea to have them do this), grab a mallet and beat them as flat as you can. Don't pulverize them to the point where they start to fall apart, but get them nice and thin. Once they're thin, lay them out and give them a light splash of lemon juice, then shove them in the fridge to sit for half an hour. I used fresh lemons to make the lemon juice, but feel free to use the bottled stuff.

While letting the lemon seep into the cutlets, we're going to start on the cabbage. First, chop it up! Peel off the outermost layers of the cabbage head, then chop it to bits.

Get about 4 strips of bacon, and slice them up.

Next we're going to take our red onion and peel back a bunch of the outer layers, enough so the outer surface is bright in color and shiny. I like to cut an X in the top so the flavor has an easier time getting out. This helps, since the onion is going in whole.

Now instead of letting the cloves roam free in the cabbage, we're going to want to simply shove them into the onion. I go for about 20 cloves, and I do it symmetrically since I'm anal. Plus, this ensures even distribution of the clove flavor around the onion. (My pattern is four on each side of the X, and four in the top.)

Now we start cooking. Take your bacon and start frying it up in a decent sized pot. (One large enough to hold the cabbage.)

Once a bit of the bacon fat has rendered, drop in your onion.

Let that heat up for a bit, then add your cabbage on top of the bacon and around the onion. Once the cabbage has been added to the pot, add just enough water to a level halway up the pot. Crank the heat up to high.

Now while we wait for the cabbage water to boil, it's time to shift gears back to our cutlets. Lightly sprinkle salt on both sides of each cutlet. Kosher salt works nicely for this.

Now prepare a bowl of flour, a bowl with two eggs lightly beaten with one to two tablespoons of cold water, and a plate of bread crumbs. Take each cutlet, and dredge it in the flour.

Shake off the excess, then coat it in your egg.

Again, let the excess drip off, then give it a final coating of bread crumbs.

Do this for all of your cutlets, and set them aside once again, letting them hang out at room temperature for 10 minutes or so.

By now, your cabbage should be boiling. Sprinkle on about two tablespoons of both salt and lemon juice, bring the heat down to medium, stick in a bay leaf, and cover it. Let it sit for 10 minutes, stir it, then let it sit for 10 more minutes.

Get a large skillet-type pan and melt about 4 tablespoons of butter in it over medium-high heat.

Once the butter has gotten nice and hot, lay your cutlets into the pan. DO NOT CROWD THEM.

Cook your cutlets about 4 minutes on each side.

When you've cooked through to a crispy golden color on each side, they're done. If you need to cook them in batches, have your oven standing by pre-heated to 250 degrees, and stick your already done cutlets in there while you cook the rest.

Pour yourself a cold beverage (as always), slap a cutlet on your plate along with some cabbage and a second side of your choice (pictured is German potato salad), and enjoy.