Chocolate Babka

Recipe by criscodisco Uploaded by Drimble Wedge

http://stopfuckingposting.com/www.gbsfood.com/1586022/

Babka is a polish sweetbread, usually made with cinnamon and nuts, but I like mine with chocolate, and some coffee ice cream. To make your babka, you'll need the following;

• 1 cup milk
• 5 tablespoons butter
• 1/4 cup lukewarm water (105 to 115 degrees)
• 1 package dry yeast
• 6 tablespoons sugar
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 5 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips
• 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa
• a bundt cake pan

Pour your milk into a small pan, and turn your heat on to medium,

And cook until it is just about ready to boil. You'll know it's gonna, because it will start to form bubbles all around the edges. When it does, remove from heat, and throw in your butter, and stir occasionally to mix.

Put your lukewarm water in a large bowl, sprinkle your yeast over it, and then stir in 1 tablespoon of sugar. After sitting for a few minutes, it will start to thicken up and emit a smell not unlike beer.

Wait until the milk is cool enough to touch without burning, or cheat like I did,

If you have a standing mixer, it makes this recipe much easier. Pour your milk into the yeast bowl, add the rest of your sugar and the salt, and mix with your dough hook, or a wooden spoon, and add 5 cups of flour, one cup at a time.

And mix until it's a dough ball. If you're using your hands, you'll have to pull the ball out and knead it for several minutes. You want it nice and solid, and smooth. Wipe some vegetable oil around the interior of a bowl, and throw your dough ball in, rolling it around so it's all covered in oil.

Cover it up, and let it sit out for about 2 hours. It will look more like this:

If it doesn't look like that, either it's really cold in your house, or your yeast is dead. Take a chunk of butter and grease the hell out of your bundt pan. Really make it thick.

Take your chocolate chips, I used Ghirardelli, and chop them up in a blender or food processor. Mix in your cocoa.

Pour about 1/3 of that mix in your bundt pan.

Use your fingers or tilt the pan to bring the chocolate as far up the sides as you can. If you wanted some nuts in your babka, you could add half of them in the pan, and mix the other half in with the remaining chocolate.

Now punch that dough right in the fucking face.

Punch it again! Make that bitch pay.

Now, either toss it back into your mixer with 1/2 cup flour, or onto your work surface with the flour, and knead it into a nice ball, about 5 minutes by hand, or a minute in the mixer.

And pull it out into an oval shape, about 16x9 inches.

Pour your remaining chocolate on top, pressing it in and leaving about 1/2 inch around the edge.

Roll it up, and pinch the edges shut.

Place it in your pan, and push it gently down, evening it and making sure it presses against the chocolate.

Cover it again, and again wait.

After about an hour, preheat your oven to 375F, and place the babka in.

After about 30 to 40 minutes, the babka will sound hollow when tapped.

Take it out, put a plate on top of the babka, and flip the whole thing over so the babka is right-side up on the plate. Some of my chocolate stayed in the pan, but it won't be any less delicious.

Wait 45 minutes before cutting into, but it is important that it is served warm, so pop your piece into the microwave for about 20 seconds if it's not warm, so the chocolate inside is melted.

Serve with some coffee ice cream, and you'll die of velvetiness.