Iced Goon Biscuits

Submitted by Earbeard

Goon Biscuits.

Serves: as many as you can be bothered to make.

Ingredients

200g/ 8oz Plain flour (non of that self raising crap) 100g/ 4oz Caster sugar (or granulated if you're being lazy) 100g/ 4oz butter or margarine 1 egg 1/2 a lemon.

Pre Heat and Prep

Before you start you should grease a baking tray (rub a bit of butter all over it) and preheat the oven to 180°C (350°F, gas mark 4).

Method

This is a stupidly easy recipe so it is perfect for people that can't really bake. To make the biscuits more interesting try adding additional ingredients such as nuts, chocolate chips, different fruits, colours or flavourings.

Start by mixing the flour and sugar, you can sieve it if you want to be a professional, but frankly I don't have the energy. Or a sieve. Then add your butter. Look I managed to get exactly 100g!

Next rub the butter in, this feels disgusting but is kind of fun. You want to make it into a sort of paste. I'd advise washing your hands after doing this.

As if by magic my cat appears sensing food is being prepared. When she realises none of it is for her she fucks off again.

Next squeeze in half a lemon, you could use a juicer to do this but I don't have one, so here I am demonstrating a simpler method.

Next break in your egg, there is no action shot of this but I can assure you it went perfectly, the egg didn't go everywhere. Not at all.

Surprisingly you now have to mix the ingredients together until they form a stiff dough. If this doesn't happen, keep adding flour and sugar until it is firm enough.

Next roll out the dough. I'm not going to tell you how thick or any thing, they are biscuits- do them biscuit thickness.

Here is where the baking ends and the art begins. Start out by cutting out circles of the number of goon smilies you want to make. I am making "smilies" so I have cut out five circles

I have decided to put together the biscuits whilst they are already on a greased baking tray. This way I won't have to ruin them when I move them.

Make up the different shapes needed for each biscuit and then stick them on. Try to keep the biscuit the same thickness all the way over or bits will burn whilst its cooking (as I discovered) Guess which goon smilie this is for!

When you have finished your goon smilies stand bake and admire them for a second before putting them in a preheated oven for 10-15 mins at 180°C (350°F, gas mark 4).

If you have any dough left over you might wanna make more biscuits, I made an army of mini smilies using a shot glass and a knife.

Whilst you are waiting for you biscuits to bake you can either sit and chill for 10-15 mins, or should you want to ice you biscuits start preparing the icing.

As you can see I have opted for the colours red, yellow and blue. You may want to choose different colours depending on what goon smilies you are creating. It was at this point my cat came back to see if there was anything edible for her yet.

Make the icing by adding a small amount of water and some food colouring. Add the water drop by drop (literally!) or it will just turn into a sea of sticky sugar goo. Make sure you are checking on your biscuits regularly, you don't want them to burn. Start checking after about 10 minutes and keep checking every couple of minutes. When your biscuits are done they should be a light golden brown. The burnt bits in the picture are to show you what it shouldn't look like, of course I would never normally burn things...

Serving

Finally ice the biscuits their relevant colours. The whole process of icing would have been easier if I had actually had some black icing, but after trekking to two shops with no avail I improvised using raisins for eyes and ignoring the rest!

Perfect for any social occasion requiring biscuits.