Pasta and Chicken in Vodka Sauce

Submitted by shakerpenguin Uploaded by madaslue

SO. Inspired by the vodka sauce thread, and the couple recipes posted there (thanks squirrellypoo), I decided to make pasta tonight. I made it, and it was good, but then after eating I learned that I'm going to be an aunt. FUCKING FUCK FUCK. So that put me in a bad mood, and I was glad I had already eaten.

[RANT (skip if you don't care!)]

And so you don't think I'm a horrible monstar for not being happy for my brother, here's the quick backstory: She's in school, my brother's in 2nd year of law school. She's 22, he's 28. They got married a month ago. They have NO money. My dad pays for a lot of their shit, and shouldn't. They had a HUGE wedding. She's an attention whore. She claimed to be on birth control pills, they claim this was an accident, and they always said they were waiting till both were out of school for kids. Now she most likely won't get a job, and he's left to finish law school, pay her $2k of student loans every MONTH, and mommie and the baby have to go on welfare. Yes, we think she itnentionally stopped taking her birth control and didn't tell my brother.

[END RANT]

ON TO COOKING!

here's what you'll need:

• Pasta
• Tomatoes, crushed or puree. I also added a drained can of diced, for texture.
• Chicken
• Vodka!
• Half and half or cream
• Onion
• Garlic
• Oregano
• Fresh Basil
• Pepper Flakes
• Mushrooms (not pictured, they were hiding in my fridge!)
• Salt, Pepper
• Parmesan

First thing's first, brown the chicken in a little olive oil, with salt and pepper. I used tenders, so I didn't have to do any choppin'.

Chop your onion, mushrooms, and garlic if you're not using a press or something. Brown the onion for a minute or two, then add the mushrooms and garlic, and brown over high heat (I also used the same pan as the chicken, for extra yummy fond)

Add the can(s) of tomatoes, some red pepper flakes, oregano, salt and pepper.

Cook that puppy for a while, so it reduces a good amount. You'll be adding a lot more liquid in the vodka and cream at the end, so you'll want it thick. Your pasta water should be boiling by now too, so cook that stuff!

In lieu of a pet picture, here is the happy fucking couple:

Add the chicken back into the pan, and add about a half to 3/4 of a cup of vodka. Cook for at least 5 minutes over medium heat. Add about a cup of whichever dairy product you choose to use, and simmer gently for another few minutes till it's all together and yummy.

Chop or tear your basil, and add at the last minute, just to wilt it. MMM, basil.

Pour everything in your pasta pot, add a handful of parmesan, and stir. Also, NEVER buy this TJ's pasta. It fucking sucks. Sticky and gummy and it just fell apart when I stirred it, even though I like my pasta very al dente.

MONEY SHOT (sorry no money shots of the happy fucking couple)