Cajun Fettucini Alfredo with Optional Shrimp

Okay ladies and gents, tonight I will instruct you on how to make a delicious, well-known pasta dish. Let's start with the ingredients:

Ingredients:

• 1 lb bag of fettucini
• 1 bulb garlic (optional)
• 1/2 lb shrimp (optional)
• 1 cup heavy whipping cream
• 2 tbsp butter (+/- 1 tbsp)
• 1 cup fresh shredded parmesan cheese (not that grated bullshit)
• Some olive oil
• Some Creole/Cajun Seasoning (optional)
• Basil (optional)

Method:

Here's the cajun seasoning I use:

And here's the olive oil (fuck extra virgin):

Utensils:

First, put some water into the damn pot and put it on high heat to boil. Add some salt if you want. While that's happening, prepare your garlic. Take the whole bulb, break it apart and peel the shit off all the cloves. Here's an easy way to peel the garlic...

First you cut the little hard piece off at the bottom.

But when you get to the bottom, don't cut through the other side of the peel, just hold your knife there and peel the clove away to get you started.

Now you simply grab one of the loose edges and take the rest of that thing off.

Use the remaining time before your water boils to start heating up a pan of olive oil and to start your sauce. Just put the pan on medium heat and add some oil to cover the bottom. Put the smaller pot on medium-low heat and add the cup of cream and butter to it. Keep the cream sauce in mind and stir it every once in a while.

By now your water will be boiling...

So add the pasta and cover that shit up.

Now's your time to grab a quick beer.

And when your oil is hot, add the garlic and don't forget about the sauce back there (I highly recommend adding a little pepper to it).

Cook the garlic for a while (usually until the pasta is just about done, maybe 8 minutes). The garlic will brown a little bit.

Now the pasta should be about done (do a taste test if necessary). So drain that shit.

Now put the cover back on it and throw your shrimp into the pan with the garlic. And add some cajun while you're at it.

These little shits cook fast. 4 minutes is all it takes. Don't overcook these or they'll turn out like shit.

Well now that's done, so add the pan contents to the pasta.

It's time to finish up the sauce. Add your parmesan cheese while stirring the cream sauce, but leave just a little bit left over for garnish at the end.

Don't worry if it doesn't seem thick. Trust me, it will thicken as it cools. Now add the sauce to the pasta.

At this point, I add about 2 teaspoons full of cajun seasoning to the mix. You don't have to add this much if you don't want to. Actually, the cajun is completely optional. Add more or add less, see if I give a shit.

Add a little basil, stir that shit, put it on a plate, and you're done. It'll serve between 3 - 4 people (depending on how fat you fucking people are).

I confess that I made a smaller batch for just 2 people, but I used the same amount of sauce (we had extra).

All-in-all, this is a pretty easy meal that's sure to satisfy. To make it infinitely simpler and cheaper, skip the shrimp. You can also use chicken.